Here, is your jonah ray

This is on now, east coast!!!! #thehalfhour @comedycentral (image by @thecarlosramos )

comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Jonah Ray

checkingtheinsanity asked you:
Jonah, should I stay home and watch your special? Or see Hardwick tonight? I have tickets for Hardwick, but I want to support you too!!! Answer truthfully! 

DVR my special so you can come back home after seeing Chris and drunkenly watch me as you fall asleep!

Anonymous asked you:
What’s your favorite opener you’ve ever used on stage?

A belt buckle bottle opener. 

sethdreyers asked you:
Give your best argument re: waffles v. pancakes. 

Waffles provide “Flavor Buckets” for the butter and syrup. But! Nothing like a hotcake. It’s best to make a pancake then put it into a waffle maker. But then…by doing that, you’ll upset the breakfast gods.

Anonymous asked you:
Jonah, how does it feel to have to live in two worlds so to speak. One where you are the drinking party-goer, and one where you are a nerd among nerds on the podcast. 

Some of the biggest nerds I know are drinking party-goers, and some of the biggest “drinking party-goers” I know are huge nerds. Nobody is ever one thing.

exbestfriend asked you:
Jonah Ray … Other than the band fun., what is the one part of current pop culture you would like to get rid of? 

Reality shows that showcase and “celebrate” mentally challenged trainwrecks. 

Anonymous asked you:
Licorice body butter, am I right? 

you are wrong… so very, very wrong. 

fangirlyconfessions asked you:
What is the best thing about being a hipster? 

What’s a hipster? Like a jazz man playing bongos and wearing a turtleneck? PLEASE ADVISE. 

stardustmansion asked you:
To Jonah, what was it like writing for the Andy Milonakis Show? Also Nerdist listener without the anonymous.

The best part about writing on the Andy Milonakis Show was hanging around all the maniacs that live in the lower east side of NYC. Also, it was a treat to learn from a great sketch writer like Eric Appel. 

Anonymous asked you:
are you a-okay or is that just hearsay?

According to Annie Hardy from GIANT DRAG I am “A-Okay”. 

charlieshulman asked you:
Hey Jonah. I’m a big fan of the Nerdist, JonahRadyio, and the Bing commercials. What are you most excited about in this Comedy Central Half-Hour episode?

You are a fan of the Bing Commercials? 

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Jonah, Who was your first friend in comedy?

His name is Cash Hartzell #NEILEDIT 

Anonymous asked you:
When are we gonna do a comedy in-store show at Burger Records. You headline, I’ll feature. I know the guys. Lets do this. -mike morales

Burger Records is an amazing record label/store in Fullerton. I would do a show any time there. As long as LEE NOISE is there. #TheeMakeOutParty 

Anonymous asked you:
Minor threat or Fugazi?? 

Embrace

- - - 

That does it for another installment of Ask a Professional Comedian. A huge thanks to the hilarious Jonah Ray for participating and to all of you who sent in questions!

The Half Hour: Jonah Ray premieres tonight at 12a/11c.

Thanks everybody for asking questions. now tune in tonight. farts!

comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Jonah Ray

Anonymous asked:
Jonah Ray: Will there be any hostful episodes of the Nerdist recorded anytime soon, with Chris on tour and whatnot?

Why did you ask this anonymously? Are you embarrassed to reveal that you are a Nerdist fan? Is that really something that should be kept hidden? Is this Matt Mira? 

Anonymous asked:
Jonah Ray Cyrus… Jonah Del Ray… Vajonah… If you could come up with a nickname for yourself what would it be?

The sexinator. 

Anonymous asked:
To Jonah Ray, will the recording at the Balboa in July be the only live Nerdist podcast this summer?

Again, why are all the nerdist fans anonymous? Have some pride in this stuff man!

psychedelianoir asked:
Hey Jonah Ray, do you still find yourself hanging out at gay bars?

Only when I wanna dance.

Anonymous asked:
Jonah Ray… If you could own any pet, what would it be?

I would normally say a penguin, but they crap everywhere. If I could own any pet it’s a toss up between an Otter and music sensation PRINCE. He’s small enough to fit in our place and I think he’d get along with our other two animals(hopefully he wouldn’t sex them up. But, I’d probably just keep him in the backyard and hope that he does his job and eat the spiders. 

donutmuffin asked:
Question for Jonah Ray! Jonah, if you could pick any character from anything that is most like you, who would it be?

I’m kind of like Monica from friends. I’m kind of like Chief Wiggum. I’m kind of like Bunny Breckinridge from ED WOOD. I’m mostly like Simon Pegg from Shaun of the Dead.

- - -

Jonah Ray is taking your questions right now! Submit them here, then be sure to watch The Half Hour: Jonah Ray tonight at 12a/11c.

Q: Why R Pants?

A: Because not shorts

(Source: apocalyps0)

Regram from @thepathealy: shooting some g4/the onion stuff in NYC spring 2006. #tbt

comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Jonah Ray

Tomorrow night, The Half Hour: Jonah Ray premieres at 12a/11c. But first Jonah will be taking your questions right here on our Tumblr at noon EST / 9am PST.

Submit your questions here, and make sure you mention they’re for Jonah.

Until then, watch Jonah talk about meeting Lars Ulrich in this clip from the special.

Ask me anything tomorrow on @ComedyCentral’s Tumblr as a way to promote my @CCstandup #TheHalfHour

Haul from @rockawayrecords: N.W.A, Panthers(white vinyl), MK ULTRA, Meat Puppets(splatter vinyl), Vampire Weekend, Mr. T Experience, and the soundtracks for Spinal Tap & Wayne’s World.

Were going to space!

Space! We’re going to Space! W/ @mattmira from the @nerdist show on @bbcamerica

(Source: mad-man-with-a-bowtie)

This man deserves all the awards.

(Source: ponderism)

Click the pic to see me talk about the time Lars Ulrich downloaded music illegally.

Also, watch the rest of the set this friday on COMEDY CENTRAL’S THE HALF HOUR!

KINGS OF SUMMER (red band trailer)

See this movie if you can, I really think it’s gonna be this generations Stand By Me.

Looks like The @nerdist show on @bbcamerica was referenced in the “sunday funnies”.

burgerrecords:

The Audacity ”MELLOW CRUISERS” GREEN VINYL BACK ON SALE FOR A LIMITED TIME!!! ONLY 40 GREEN VINYL LPs AVAILABLE SO ACT NOW!!! www.burgerrecords.com

Audacity is perfect California summer time music!

(via razorcake)

Season finale of @nerdist on @bbcamerica tonight!!! I think the guest is a guy made out of muscles and charm.

Me and @fauxtedge at my wedding. We’ve been friends for about twenty five years.